feeling red

there are times when you feel like your life is not making any sense

when out of the blue you'll cry and then laugh seconds later

when all you can do is lay on your bed and stare up at your ceiling

when you  check your phone to browse the old messages or check some old pictures on it

when you check yourself on the mirror, either admire the beauty or abhor the flaw that you see

when you can't sleep no matter how many attempts you make to forget the world

when you stroll in the mall and you have tons of money to buy things but all you can do is take glimpses around because you just can't spend or else

when you wake up and realize that nothing change

when you think that you are  a failure and feeling hopeless to turn things around

when you wish you are somebody else

when you choose to be alone and eat alone and go to the washroom or to the locker room when no one is around

when you feel like you are dying

or when you feel like anytime you are ready to die, anyway you can't comprehend what exactly is going on with your life and you get tired of unveiling its secrets

when you do things just for the sake of doing and accomplishing, not out of passion as if your are left with no choice

when you drown yourself in the sea of beer or vodka and make yourself believe that you are just having fun

when you feel like you are running out of time

when every song you listen to feels out of tune ,and even the sound that pleases you, bores you for no apparent reason

when you think of vanishing out of nowhere

when you wish to start your life all over

when you wish to go somewhere else and have new beginnings or end things

when you think you are going crazy and think its normal

when you start looking for another job or start thinking of a business, but everything is on your mind, nothing translates into action...

when you can't finish a book and you start read  another one then go to the other and the other,

when your birthday or the usual celebration of it does excite you no more

when you no longer care to pray

when all you do  is ask and never seem to get any answer

when you are doing nothing but getting tired out of it

when you you’ve got no one to talk with  or you just avoid talking with anyone

and then you decide to get your pen and write your thoughts out because you just want to remove all non sense things out of your soul….

or if you are not much of a poet or a writer you’ll find ways to do things to save yourself from insanity, and make yourself believe that things are normal and ok