a rocker down at the bottom

        i remember those days when i had nothing to eat and usually i had to experiment anything from soy sauce,vinegar,tomatoes or things that i could find in our fridge (a gigantic empty machine),those times when i had to fetch water from my lola's house,those seconds that i got no balloons on my birthday,those minutes when i was roaming around in the streets of tondo to find a pc rental shop in the middle of the night to get my school works done or sleep at my classmates house who generously  let me used her pc,those hours before my college graduation that i was calling my mom to help me pay my school expenses or else i wouldn't get my diploma,those moments when i was just waiting for my aunt's packages for new shoes,those images of me getting some odd jobs to get things going,the very day that my father died and his coffin cost tons of thousands and nothing i could do to help..

        i feel old and used but wise...life has been throwing a lot of stones and rocks to me since i have realized my dreams...i got bruised and managed to lick my own wounds,and a lot of times i quit and fell almost dead,and decided not to rise but to lay momentarily and to lay my eyes to the sky and let the sun touch my face and the wind breeze through my inside,to sway away all my blues and so when i feel like ready to stand up,i'll feel light,let my pains,hurts,regrets fly away in all directions...and i,will be in one direction of peace and simple joy.