Tuesday, August 7, 2012

some old stuff



on my way back home from tondo  9.22.2010 4:08AM?
a bit i'm feeling lost and partly i'm sad,but happiness wanders somewhere in me and there is this peace that journeys through me...all these ironies make me ,complicated, more than,how my blood runs through every vein,that fuels my heart,onto my brain..thus making me alive.. 

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9.3.2010 3:44AM?


Jeepney Rides
usually on my jeepney rides, i either sleep or be awake and let my thoughts move in and out, all, whatever direction unlike the jeep i'm on, it only moves on one route and may run fast or slow, but my mind runs as fast as it could get and slowly savor a particular thought till it reaches a conclusion that is either an answer or it'll remain a question that'll continue to linger and to visit my unsettling ,ever awake conscious mind, which i try to control to save me from misery, paranoia, and psyche imbalance, disorders that i know i already have but not yet confirmed  since i haven't sought help of a psychiatrist or any mind-doctors and got no plans now or in the future unless i'd verified my health plan covers the mind tests
back with my thoughts, everyday i get to evaluate my life, sitting alone usually at the far corner of the commoners  wheeler, my favorite spot because i can lean half of my body on the corner edges which a single lady like me would usually does ,very fortunate that there is no other living person beside me whom i can lean on..during my self assesment either i get to sleep and forget the world and wake back and realize i'm alive and the jeep is heading on to a known place called home.
and the world i am in is ever complicated in its simplicity; simple and plain because at 24 i'm single and has not been in a relationship; compflicated because at 24 i'm single and has not been in a relationship. many times i've written pointless, trying-hard-sensible pieces about  (my)singlehood and most of them  i tried not to appear that those were written by a not so desperate maiden, just a bit…but not so..

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9/6/2010 4:00AM ?

Factsheet

I want to go down deep at mariana trench..
I had blasphemed and sworn, most of the times I had kept them on my mind and never got off my mouth
I want to ride in a blimp for no reason
I read somewhere that the average day is actually 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4.09 seconds, and I don't know if that is worth remembering
I want to forget the world and be like a snail which can sleep three years straight
I pick my nose mindlessly in our house, as if I have rhinotillexomania, yet outside I am bound to rules and etiquette
I have two credit cards, just like an average American has, I am no American nor I am less than average, I am simply a struggling Filipino who keeps on chasing her material desires
I recognize how important to save water because there are those who have to walk three hours to fetch water, and it’s not a strange thing to me, I’ve got to experience fetching, pumping water out the ground when I was in Tondo
I want to go to space, and discover something to myself that land won't make me to uncover, like how a frog discovers itself throwing up in space
I was born with all care and made me feel that life is as gentle as mother's hug ,now I am thinking would my life have become different if I got out of  my mother's womb and got kicked several times just like a giraffe?

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